Entering In

“I am so excited to see all the volunteers.”

These were the words from Tony, an 8 year old boy who lives in inner city Alabama. After school every day, Tony goes to Common Ground, a youth center located in an at risk neighborhood. He is not the only one. Common Ground serves a variety of kids on a daily basis, from five to fifteen years of age. A couple of weeks ago, High School ministries had an opportunity to work hand and hand with this incredible organization. We tutored kids, participated in bible study, and built relationships with many incredible children and staff members.

While spending the week with these sweet kids, it was easy to see why our High School Students fell in love with them. You quickly see that they are indeed children. They laugh and play just like any group of kids. They will climb onto your lap or your shoulders, ask you to carry them, or to give them candy. These kids desire attention and affection. They are children just like the kids we see every day. The only difference is that they live in at risk communities, while our children have the privilege of living in suburban neighborhoods.

It is easy for us to return home and tell pretty stories and paint a positive picture, but the reality for most of these children in Alabama is not pretty. The majority of these children live in homes without fathers. Many of the them turn to gangs because it’s the only place they can find acceptance and validation. Some young teens use drugs to escape their reality while others are using it to make a profit. It’s a shattered system that will end with most of these kids in prison.

Just like Jesus entered into our brokenness, Common Ground is entering into the brokenness of this neighborhood. They are loving and caring for these children while transforming the harsh realities they face. Common Ground is treasuring these kids. They see these children the same way that Jesus does. Some of these children may get out of inner city Alabama, but the future of these children isn’t necessarily to get out of this area, but to make a positive difference wherever they are.

The truth is that we are all broken people in need of saving. Jesus calls us to share in the brokenness of our world. And by doing that perhaps we get to be rescued too.

Common Ground saw a broken need and entered it. What areas of brokenness do you see?

- Sang

Current Song: Phil Wickham – All I Am/David Crowder Band – After All (Holy)

Magen Eissenstat’s Thoughts On Christmas

Greetings! It has been a long time since I’ve written anything. And I regret to inform you that this won’t be my post. I stumbled upon Magen’s writing and thought it was incredible. With her permission I will share her thoughts… Enjoy!

Thoughts on the Christmas Season

I love Christmas.

I unabashedly, unashamedly love Christmas. Cynics beware: I am one of those people. You know, the kind who find it personally acceptable to listen to Christmas music all year. The kind that will tell you “Merry Christmas” every time they see you, starting the day after Thanksgiving…or maybe a few days before. The kind that color Christmas coloring sheets even though they’re way too old, the kind who get too excited over egg nog ice cream, the kind who, deep down, might still believe in Santa a little bit.

I love Christmas because it helps me love the world, a feat I believe to be above any other accomplish-able in this lifetime.

It’s officially the Christmas season, which means I don’t have to hide this passion anymore (not that I work too hard any other time of the year). So recently, when I’ve been getting down, upset, angry, overwhelmed, cynical, bored, whatever, one thought keeps pounding in my mind like the Little Drummer Boy.

Magen, you live in a world where Christmas exists.
And isn’t that the most beautiful thing? We live in a world where Christmas exists. And of course, a big part of this joy for me is the kind of joy that can only come from Jesus. We live in a world where Christmas exists, whose entire existence is a love story between us rambling, confused humans and the God of Love, where every inch of creation is covered in his peace, where when we were consumed by evil, idleness, the very antithesis of good, the very creator of the universe, the be all end all came down in the form of a peasant child to walk with us, feel our pain and sacrifice himself for our freedom, where nothing is bigger or more powerful than that story, that hope, which will eventually return to consume the world forever.
But also, there’s something more. Praise God, all that, and he gives us something more. Because I completely acknowledge that Christmas isn’t entirely a religious holiday any more, that it has become a separate secular entity of its own, one that’s not to be ignored, one that God wants us to cherish in our hearts. We live in world where Christmas exists, where parents tear up at the sight of the joy of their children unwrapping gifts in brightly colored paper, where couples can bond over cheesy movies that put hope above all else, where music—music!—warms the heart with a joy that cannot be named other than Christmas, where giant green trees with ridiculous ornaments and bright red bows sit by fireplaces in homes where families reunite, where we gather around the idea of Santa, of magic generosity, of reindeer and bells and poems and red and green and egg nog elves and gingerbread cookies and carols and snow and hot chocolate and lights which are allowed to consume our culture, if only for a season.
I am so thankful for this fact. Every time, every time something bad happens, God is there to remind me. I live in a world where I have four hours of APUSH I should be doing, fifty pages of lines to memorize, and all state auditions this weekend. But I live in a world where Christmas exists. I live in a world where I never feel like my family can trust me because I can never trust myself. But I live in a world where Christmas exists.
I live in a world where people too often obsess over money and math and forget to be human. But I live in a world where Christmas exists.
I live in a world that houses war, famine, disease, death, destruction but— we all live in a world where Christmas exists, and we have the opportunity to show others that.
I love Christmas. And I may just start a revolution.

#christmas#love#hope#joy#jesus#bells

Praise and Warships

I remember my very first worship service. I was entering my last semester of high school and a friend invited me to church. I remember the moment clearly. Bobby Wheat was leading worship and Jay Smith was playing drums. I was sitting on the couch watching the people around me sing songs. They were jumping… Some lifted their hands… people were crying… It was strange… Throughout the night… random people came up to me and prayed for me. I was freaked out. I didn’t understand why people were crying… why they lifted their hands… who was this Jesus that they were singing about? I left with a strange impression… but I liked it.

I continued to go to the worship services at Grace. I loved it. There was something attractive about it. I never felt so emotional connected to God before. It only took a few months before I was screaming at the top of my lungs… jumping around… lifting my hands as I cried out to God.

Worship

What is it?

I’ve spent the last few years working with an amazing youth group. A few questions that I’m often asked… “Can we worship?”… “Why can’t we just worship?” … “Can I lead worship?”…

In fact… There was a time during a worship service where I was leading a discussion and a student raised their hand and asked if we can just go back to singing songs… this has happen multiple times.

There is a difference between worshiping and singing songs…

Now I want to acknowledge that the scriptures are covered with commandments to lift up our hands… lift up our voices… praise and give thanks to the Lord. Go to BibleGateway.com and search “sing” and you will find many verses where we are commanded to lift up our voices and praise our Father… God commands us to sing His praises… we worship Him because He is a faithful God that is at work in our lives…this community…and this world… Sometime our only response is to sing Hallelujah…

But there are other verses that talks about worship…

Romans 12:1 “Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is true worship.”

Isaiah 29:13 “The Lord says: ‘These people come near to me with their mouth and honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. Their worship of Me is based on merely human rules they have been taught.’

John 4:23-24 “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”

Amos 5:21-24 “I hate, I despise your religious festivals; I cannot stand your assemblies. Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings, I will not accept them. Though you bring choice fellowship offerings, I will have no regard for them. Away with the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!

I don’t want to devalue worship services… I believe worship is essential to our church body… many people have found freedom from the chains of this world through the power of a worship service…people interceding on behalf of the body… lives introduce to the Almighty God… a powerful way to praise God for the things He has done and is doing. However, worship services can manipulate emotions. How many of us have left a worship service promising God that we will never do it again only to find ourself doing it again that very night? Left a worship service promising to pick up our cross only to lay it back down?

I guess my issue with our idea of worship is this… what exactly are we giving praise for?

How do we praise God for transforming our lives if we aren’t in communion with Him?

…worship Jesus who spent His life serving if we are selfish and self seeking?

…glorify the Son for actively working in our community if we aren’t involved in our community?

…honor the King of justice if we aren’t fighting injustice?

…lift our voices to our Heavenly Father for being the Father to the fatherless when we ignore the cries of the orphans?

…turn our eyes to the Lord of the scriptures if we fail to open our bibles?

John Piper once said: If we are worshiping God without reading the scriptures then we are worshiping a self-made God.

We rather sing songs then read our bibles.

We rather sing songs then sit in silence… listening for the quiet voice of the Lord.

We rather sing songs then talk to our neighbors next door.

We rather sing songs then…. And the list goes on and on.

We offer our empty praises instead of living a life praising Him.

As cliché as it sounds… Worship isn’t about singing songs, but a life lived for God.

And we fail to see that…

My hope isn’t that we stop going to worship services or become cynical… but to challenge ourselves to live our lives differently… How different would worship look if we got to know the character of God through the scriptures? Learn to forgive… to love? Spent time praying? Join God in His movement to reconcile this world? How different would it be? Perhaps we would have reasons to praise God…

Maybe we will begin asking ourselves…

Are we worshiping God or just singing songs?

- Sang

This are two amazing men after God’s heart. Hurst Jones and Mike Gentry. These are real worship leaders who has lead so many to Christ by the way they live their lives. These men have inspire me to love and serve others. Spend some time with them and they will inspire you to live your life praising God.

Current Song: Matt Redman – Heart of Worship

Guatemala Finale Part 2: Defining Your Summer

I’m home! It’s been wonderful seeing everyone again. I missed everyone very much. A piece of my heart is still in Guatemala, but it’s good to be home. I have been asked many questions since I’ve been back.

“What was your favorite part?” … “What was your least favorite experience?” … “Do you have any awesome stories?”… “Was it dangerous?”

The best part was being apart of Potter’s House. This is an incredible organization that has inspired so many lives. They are very relational. With the treasures… the volunteers… and this is incredible, because being relational is one of the most if not most effective ways to share the gospel message. And it’s evident because Potter’s House is located right by the dump. They chose to be in the community that they want to affect. I’m joyful because this organization has reminded me that there are brothers and sisters all around the globe that is fighting for their country… inviting the Kingdom of Heaven to radically affect their communities.

Now that the trip is over… my questions are “what now?” What did I learn…? How am I changed…? What’s my response?

During the trip, I got to know one of the workers at Potter’s House very well. Her name is Lorena and she earned a college degree in Florida. After VBS one day I asked her a question:

“About how many people in Guatemala City are upper class? Middle class?

She paused and finally responded, “I would guess about 3% upper class…20% middle class…”

Wow… that leaves 77% of Guatemala City… lower class… more than ¾ of the city.

I asked her where do upper class and middle class civilians live? And she told me that they lived about 45 minutes away from the dump. And the worst part? Most of them aren’t even aware of the things going on at the city dump.

Later, I was talking to Lorena again. She informed me that she wants to return to the states to get her masters. I asked her if she wanted to stay in America or come back to Guatemala. And she said Guatemala. I asked her why?

“because there is a huge need in my city.”

These conversations with Lorena got me thinking… Most of them aren’t even aware of the things going on at the city dump… How many things are we unaware of that occur in our hometown? backyard?

We live in a city where…

A family has guest bedrooms…. While a family of 6 lives in a 2 bedroom house.

A family spends more money on vacations than some families make in a year.

A family has more cars than members …while single moms are trying to catch a bus to work.

A family’s elementary age child have iphones… while families have no phone at all.

And that’s just naming a few… and it’s really easy for me to look at these numbers and only see statistics… and not people. So how many of these things am I unaware of? Whether its 30 minutes away… or 2 minutes away from my house…

So why am I unaware? Am I too “busy?” … busy with what? Xbox? Movies? Work? Or excuses?

What is occupying your time? Laying out? Family Vacation? Hanging out with your friends?

Before I continue… I won’t to clarify that these things aren’t bad. Playing X-Box isn’t bad… Camps aren’t bad… Family Vacation isn’t a bad thing… these things can be great… what I’m saying is… don’t let these things define your summer.

If we continue to be unaware of the need in our community because we are “busy” with swimming… summer movies… vacations… then…what…a…waste. A summer wasted … one that could have been filled with partnering up with God to reconcile this world back to Him…

The unfortunate thing… is when we invest in Kingdom things… not only does the experience affect the people we are helping…but it changes us. We live in society where people are selfish… self-entitled… and God calls us out of these things…

The journey from selfish to selfless is a difficult one, but we must take it.

Will we continue to be selfish with our time… lacking compassion? Or perhaps… we will no longer ignore the cries in our own city… maybe it’s just sacrificing one day… to go downtown… or perhaps… instead of laying out with your friends… you all feed homeless people… why?

“because there is a huge need in my city.”

What will define your summer?

- Sang

This is a picture of all the youth kids that went on the Guatemala trip. I know that many wanted to go, and unfortunately not every got to go. And sorry for looking exhausted… I ran an obstacle course… and if you know anything about me… I hate running… But I chose this picture… because I am just incredibly proud of these four. Anthony, Pagina, Nicholas, and Dulce. You 4 were open to the Spirit and He was working in your lives this past week. I was more than bless to witness the transformation that took place in your hearts. You all made an incredible difference in the lives of many people during our trip, including mine. I love you all!

Current Song: Hillsong – Hosanna

“Break my heart for what breaks Yours”…. How would our lives look if we really meant these words?

Guatemala Finale Part 1: Poverty

Tana Thai… Pho… Speedy Wok… Nhinja…

Don’t mind me… I’m just making a list of restaurants I’m hitting up when I get back!

Well… The trip is coming to a close… Today was our last work day and tomorrow is a play day… I am going to share my experiences in two separate blogs. This one… and the next one will be posted over the next few days… So here we go. We arrived in Guatemala on Sunday night and went to Potter’s House on Monday Morning… They began orientation with a question…

What is poverty? Our responses? Someone who is poor… homeless… has little resources. They said yes… but there is more… They defined poverty as lacking something. They proceeded by listing 8 forms of poverty.

Spiritual Poverty
Lack of a relationship with God
Religiosity vs. Christian Life

Intellectual Poverty
Lack of access to knowledge and misinformation
A lie vs. the truth

Poverty of Affection
Lack of love and inappropriate feelings.
Selfishness vs. Love

Poverty of the Will
Lack of self-control.
Slavery vs. Freedom

Physical Poverty
Lack of health.
Sickness vs. Health

Poverty of Support Network
Lack of close family and community support.
Loneliness vs. Family

Poverty of Civic Involvement
Lack of community cooperation.

Economic Poverty
Lack of Resources.
Scarcity vs. Abundance

Economic Poverty is different because it’s the only one that doesn’t require a relationship. It doesn’t require anything but money or donations.

The thing I love most about Potter’s House is that they care about the holistic view of every individual. I love that approach… because that’s how Jesus calls us to love.

This week, I witnessed the different forms of poverty.

A lady… homeless because her home was destroyed by a mudslide a year ago and a community that doesn’t help.

11 year old girls who have to take care of their infant siblings for whatever reason… growing up way to fast and losing their childhood.

Many families who are suffering from alcoholic fathers.

Many elders who have to survive without medical attention because they don’t have the resource to see a doctor.

And that’s just to list a few… but I have also seen the testimony of many individuals that have been affected by this organization.

Two families who now have new homes… expressing their gratitude through tears and hugs.

Many people who are finding medical attention in this facility.

The children experience love from the workers here.

A former child whose family worked in the dump… but through the education at Potter’s House… is now a college graduate and a teacher. Breaking her family’s cycle of living in poverty.

There are many more personal stories that I would love to share over a meal.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Potter’s House is advancing the Kingdom.

So what have I learn? Poverty is… lacking something… And these forms of poverty is not just a Guatemalan problem… It’s a universal issue…

Which form of poverty am I suffering with? What am I lacking? This question has haunted me this week… and God has revealed a few things to me…I’m learning more and more to admit my struggles and turning to God for freedom… and my brothers for help…So that’s the question now… which form of poverty are you struggling with? Is it one of the 8 that Potter’s House listed?

Spiritual… Intellectual… Affection…? Or is it something else?

What are you lacking?

Hope…? Joy…? Confidence…? Compassion…? Purpose…?

Do you have a bad relationship with your parents? Do you hate the way you look in the mirror? Are you selfish? Self-centered? Do you continue to make the same mistakes as you did last year? 2 years ago? 5 years ago?

Can we stop pretending and be real? Can we admit that we suffer from some sort of poverty? So what’s next…? Do we choose to remain in it… Or seek God to free us from it? I don’t have a 10 step program, but I know it all starts with an honest heart and a call to God.

Will you join me in my journey to remove all the poverty in my life?

-Sang

Current Song: Lifehouse – Broken (Live)

Trash and Treasure

Wow. Potter’s House is a legit organization. They keep an eye on the short term need while focusing on the long term goal. I am very impressed with this place. Today I got to experience some of the short term things… things like home repairs or doing VBS for the kids whose family is working in the dumps… And listened to some of the long term success… people moving out of the dumps to attending school and graduating college…

This place is advancing the Kingdom.

Let me share what stuck out to me today.

Guatemala City has a huge valley. This valley is full of trash. It is the place where the city dumps it’s garbage. I was about a 100 ft. above the dump and the smell was unbearable. This dump resides 11,000 citizens… more than half are children. they have no source of income so they travel to the city dump to find something worth selling or eating… one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. On average, they make about 2 U.S. dollars a day. These 11,000 were given the name scavengers… looking down at the dump was horrific… the scavengers looked like tiny ants digging through trash… vultures were flying in circles while some landed in the dump… and I could barely tell the people from the birds…

Scavengers…

Potter’s House is trying to change this image. They began calling the scavengers… treasures because these are people… God’s children …people who laugh, cry, hurt, smile, dream… people just like me and you.

Society tells these treasures that they have no value…… and the unfortunate thing is… that these treasures begin to believe in the lies… that they’re worthless… garbage…

The worst crime you can commit is to make a person hate themselves…

So we call them treasures because we want to value them, but also for them to value themselves… because the Father values them.

Treasures… digging through garbage to find hope… one man’s trash is another man’s treasure

Treasures… outcasts… being treated like garbage by society… one man’s trash is another Man’s treasure

-Sang

Current Song: Jeremy Riddle – How He Loves

The Power of God Displayed

As He went along, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the power of God might be displayed in him.

John 9:1-3

I arrived at work only to see the place empty. It is extremely unusual for Barnes and Noble to be this empty at 4 o’ clock in the afternoon. Fifteen minutes later, it was reported that a tornado was on the ground near I-40. We shut the store down and I was on my way to Servant. Servant is one of the safest places to be during a tornado. I remember walking in and being overwhelmed with the amount of people there. I stayed outside and helped random people bring things in, including dogs. There were probably about a 3:1 ratio of humans to dogs. It was packed! Two hours had passed and it was safe enough to return home. I left and on my way home I got a horrific text message:

“Please pray. One of our youth kids lost their house.”

I was speechless.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the only bad thing that happened that evening.

A family from Piedmont had one son in critical condition and one missing. The son that was in the hospital was 15 months old. He passed away Wednesday. The other son had been missing since the tornados hit. His body was found in a lake on Thursday. The boy was 3 years old. The daughter is still in critical condition.

Another story from Chickasha: A college age girl returns from Australia 3 days before the tornado hits. Her mom is disabled and lives in a trailer home. She was visiting her mother when the tornado hit. Refusing to abandon her mother during this chaotic time, she stayed… in the trailer. The tornado lifts another trailer and it lands on this family’s trailer… killing the daughter. Mom remains alive.

15 months… 3 years old…Young college student…

How tragic? A parent burying their child. I can’t even begin to imagine the hurt… the pain.

Which leads me to the question: Why do bad things happen… Now this isn’t a new question. In fact, this question was asked before me and it will be asked after me.

In the beginning of John 9… The disciples asked Jesus a question…

Why is this man born blind?

Whose fault was it?

Was it his? His mother? His father?

The root of the question is essentially the same question we ask today: Why do bad things happen?

Jesus’ response?

“So that the power of God might be displayed.”

Before I continue, I would like to acknowledge that this response rarely gives comfort… hope… peace… I am aware that this response may frustrate you even more…

I understand that.

I would like to continue with a story where I have experience this.

Last night, I got the okay to come out the next morning to help clean up a house. It was the house that belonged to our youth student. I sent out a max text trying to recruit helpers. It was last minute, so I wasn’t expecting many responses. Anna McCoy and Jordan Picchione agreed to come. We left early the next morning and got to the house at about 8:15. The sight was horrible. The whole neighborhood was leveled. Cars were crushed or flipped. It looked like a scene from a movie… or a dump. I was overwhelmed with the destruction. You hear/see these things all the time, but this time it was different. It was so close to home… happening to someone you know…. I looked at the house and didn’t even know where to begin. I talked to the father and we began moving the bricks and trash. We tried looking for anything that may be salvageable. It was such a humbling experience… shifting through bricks, wood, bathtubs, rugs… trying to find any piece of memory for the family to cling onto.

I looked around and saw many different people helping. There were young middle school kids to grandfathers helping. Mothers and daughters coming together to help. An Asian man (not me) was working alongside with the father of the house. I opened my ears and listened to the conversations.

“I found car keys!”

“Really? You can have the car.”

“If you find anything weird… it belongs to the neighbors.”

“Ouch, I stepped on a nail.”

“You want duct tape?”

“No, I prefer scotch tape.”

Humorous conversations….

….Today, I saw Jesus’ response.

Two freshman girls waking up at 6 in the morning to assist. The power of God displayed.

A community coming together to help. The power of God displayed.

Random conversations that reveals hope. The power of God displayed.

Anna and Jordan listening to the father tell his story. The power of God displayed.

The Church coming together to overwhelm the family with donations, clothes, food, and things to aid their next step. The power of God displayed.

The power of God…. moving… shaping…restoring…healing….

Why do bad things happen?

Sometimes… when we ask that question… we aren’t really looking for answers… but for hope… comfort… peace… rest…

May the power of God grant you these things when you find yourself asking that question.

- Sang

Please continue to pray for the families that have been affected by this terrible event. It happened 4 days ago, but it isn’t over for them… It won’t be for a while. This is their reality.

Current Song: Hillsong – Oh You Bring

Oh You bring hope to the hopeless
And light to those in the darkness
And death to life
Now I’m alive
Oh You give peace to the restless
And joy to homes that are broken
I see You now
In You I’m found

A Suprise Heartbreak

And it is done! I have finished my last full day of student teaching. Tomorrow, I will go to UCO for a touch back day and then I’ll be done until my week long class in the fall. What a bummer. But unofficially I am done. What a road. What a journey…. I struggled with whether or not I should blog so quickly about my experience over the last few months. I mean I still haven’t had a chance to process everything… However, I think I will write about it because it’s all fresh on my mind.

I just got back from Italy at the beginning of the year. In fact, I got back Sunday evening and had a mix up with UCO on Monday morning and reported to school Tuesday morning. It was an exhausting transition. I remember walking into the classroom. I met my mentor teacher and thought… “Man… I can’t wait until May and be done with this.”

See… I had a plan. I wanted to quickly get my teaching degree and then leave it all behind to pursue Youth Ministry. I had no desire to be a teacher. In fact, I had no desire to spend the semester in the classroom. I love children, but I wanted to work with them in a different capacity. VBS or Mission trips…. Not a classroom.

The first few weeks were miserable. I hated it. I wanted to work with upper elementary. 4^th or 5^th grade, but I got stuck with 2^nd grade. The kids were okay, but I hated the schedule. I got sick a lot and was so busy with school that I had no time for anything else. I was really depressed during this time. My mood began to change after the snow storm. The sun was out and I began to get to know these kids. I learned some of their stories and situations. I began to really like these kids. I still hated teaching… but the kids I began to like.

I began to really connect with the kids. I continued to learn more and more about these kids. And their stories began to break my heart. A little girl who is so worried that her dad is going to commit suicide that she is barely able to function. The same girl who has a hard time learning and realizes that she is so far behind the other kids, that she begins to write how “stupid” she is. A young boy clings on to me, because his dad is in jail. And these are just a few of the stories…stories that will break your heart.

I quickly learned that I am one of the few men in these young children’s life. The teachers all noticed how the kids will cling on to me because there are no good men around… I see it when they run to me after hurting themselves and crawl onto my lap… or how they will just grab my hand to walk with me… or how they scream for my attention just to watch them do a cartwheel…. Or go around the monkey bars…. How they will beg for the opportunity to read to me… How they rush to sit next to me during a meeting……I’m learning more and more of the impact I can have on these children in such a short amount of time. The responsibility is heavy… and it’s tough.

But man… these kids are hilarious. These kids made me laugh every day. Their gentleness… kindness… innocence… They are incredible. As the year progress… I continued to fall in love with these kids. See that’s my problem… I can’t commit to something without overcommitting my emotions. It’s like that at Servant… Work… and now School. I fought against it… I didn’t want to enjoy this semester. I just wanted to work at a church.

But today…. was one of the hardest days of my life. Saying good bye to these children was one of the most difficult things I had to do. I wish the experience could have lasted longer. I didn’t want it to end so quickly. I want nothing more than to stay in their lives and shower them with love and walk them through life. See… when I was involved… I can walk them through all their junk… but now that I’m gone… I can’t do anything, but pray for them. My biggest fear is that they think I just walked out of their lives like so many other men have. This was not part of the plan. None of this was.

This blog may be really random… or made little sense…. I am still processing everything…

I’m not ready to commit to being a teacher in the classroom… nor am I ready to commit to youth ministry… My future brings a lot of uncertainty, but one thing is for sure. Those children stole my heart.

- Mr. Nguyen

Current Song: Charlie Hall – Breathe

An Invitation

Dear Journal,

It was another bad day. The kids made fun of me again. This time it was because I brought my chopsticks to school. I asked them to stop but they kept calling me chopstick boy. It was almost as bad as the time the bullies pushed me into a pile of….

Oops. Sorry… I was having flashbacks from high school…. err grade school. It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog, but I am just so boring.

Holy week has been powerful for me this week. I’m not reading the bible any more than I usually do… or praying more than normal…. It’s different for me this year, because I’m visualizing these things in my head – the Last Supper… The Crucifixion….The Resurrection…. These things are becoming more alive to me this week… and it is reminding me of the importance and implications of Jesus’ life and ministry.

I remember a conversation I had with my older brother when I was much younger. I asked him about his faith… or lack of faith. He told me he went to church for a while… but it was only because he was afraid of going to Hell. He could care less about what it means to be a Christian… He just wanted to avoid eternal punishment.

I remember another incident from my eighth grade year. I asked a friend if he believed in God. He replied “no” … and I remember asking him… “But what happens when you die? Don’t you want to go to Heaven?”

Heaven and Hell… the destination for the afterlife.

Before I continue, I would like to state that I believe in a Heaven and a Hell for the afterlife. I believe that Heaven is a place that resides the Saints… Peter, Paul, James… just as I believe Hell is a place where Satan dwells.

Rob Bell has been stirring a lot of pots lately. Many people detest his teaching and theology… while majority grovel at his feet. I don’t always agree with what he writes, but I have enjoyed his books because it challenges us… and makes us question things whether you agree with it or not. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for many of the other Christian books.

Over the last few years… Bell’s books, along with discussions with fellow brothers and sisters, has me thinking about the idea of Heaven and Hell on Earth… Today…

The Kingdom of Heaven… here… now… close enough to heal… restore… touch…

Hell on earth… here… now… close enough to invade… ruin… destroy…

The Kingdom of Heaven…When I think of these words… I think of God curing, reconciling, saving…. Because these things happen today. God moving… changing… and saving so many different people… and situations.

I’ve experienced the Kingdom of Heaven when I saw Jessie Boone walk through the doors of Church of the Servant after her ski accident. I have experience the Kingdom of Heaven through Joni Brown, who continues to say NO to cancer. I have experienced it through the stories I hear at Cross and Crown… The City Rescue Mission… The Refuge…. I have experienced it through normal people doing selfless things just so their neighbor may have a decent life….

The Kingdom of Heaven… experiencing God now… through turmoil and heartache…Experience God in these things…. And moving into a place where we believe God is bigger than any of our circumstances…..

Hell… on Earth… Rob Bell shares a story in his book “Love Wins” about a little girl who was molested by her dad while he recites the Lord’s prayer… or singing hymns…. Hell on Earth…. 3.575 million people dying from water-related diseases each year… preventable diseases…. Hell on Earth…. Children losing their innocence as they are forced into wars…. Hell on Earth…. Young girls being robbed of their value by being forced into trafficking… Hell on Earth… A little girl having to worry about her daddy committing suicide…. Hell on Earth…

And the list goes on….

I look at the first list… and I say YES! AMEN! THE LORD IS GOOD! We have experienced Him TODAY!

I look at the second list and my heart falls into pieces…. What other words can describe these situations? There are none. It’s hell.

So what is my response? Our response? I believe that Heaven and Hell can be experienced now… so what does that mean for me? Us?

A month ago… Japan… along with other islands in the Pacific… were hit with a horrendous… destructive tsunami. A disaster that has taken many lives… and destroyed so many more.

While this was happening… Christian leaders around the world were worried about the controversy of a book that hasn’t even been published.

What? Huh? Does that make any sense?

We sit around… and we discuss our “theology”… this is the way to worship… this is how to do church…this person is in heaven… this person is in hell… blah blah blah… When have we become the judge? When did we get the right to announce that an individual is celebrating with the angels…. Or burning with the demons?

Why are we so fixated on announcing where a person will go? Heaven or hell… when they could be experiencing hell… now? Let’s be honest… hell is all around us. We just have to open our eyes.

How do you share the gospel message with a hungry man? Do you sit him down and share your theological beliefs? No. You buy him a meal. How do you help an addict? You help them get help… you don’t have them recite some prayer to get Jesus in their heart.

You think a foster child wants to recite these prayers to get into heaven? No. They want a home. They want security. So we do what we can to help with that.

Because people need to experience Love and the Kingdom of Heaven to experience Jesus. Not mere words… or debates…

Now I want to clarify… that what we believe is important. Our theological beliefs are important. Desiring wisdom and knowledge is important. But only if it leads us closer to Jesus… and sharing His message around this world….

As I read more and more of the Gospels… majority of the time Jesus had theological discussions… were with self-righteous people who used their beliefs and “theology” to hold people down… robbing them of opportunities to experience the Kingdom of Heaven….

Jesus loves… and that looks different, but the common thread… is that He meets them where they are. His gospel message requires action… Because the Good News is tangible news. We share the Gospel message not because we want people to go to Heaven… But to experience Jesus… Now

So as we celebrate this Easter season… as we celebrate the death and resurrection of our Savior…

Perhaps we can ask ourselves this question…

“Did Jesus die on the cross so I can sit on the sideline and talk about Him… Or did He die to invite me into His movement? To share the Kingdom of Heaven…now”

- Sang

This is a picture of one of my best friends. Jay Smith. 1. His birthday is on Sunday and I wanted to give him a shout out. And 2. He is one of the most incredible… Godly men that I have encountered. He is a ferocious man after God’s heart and purpose in this world. Many people have experience Jesus in a more intimate way through his passion and love for God. I am one of them.

Current Song: Charlie Hall – Constant

God you are here with us constantly here with us
You are our everything faithful and true

This song has been on my heart over the last month and a half… it speaks so much truth. God is wise… faithful… and He walks with us. He is here with us… Constantly…

These words give me hope when I feel distant from Him… and it reminds me of His goodness when I feel near.

If you haven’t listened to it…. You need to. It is incredible.

Hello. My name is Sang. Nice to meet you.

Welcome back to the blogging world Mr. Bauer… Errr Mr. Nguyen! This is my first blog post since my Xanga days. I randomly had a desire to start blogging again!

When I read blogs in today’s world… The topics are usually one of two things. 1. Theological discussions about the Christian faith… Which some are pretty convicting (Alex Buchner’s – An Arrow Pointing Upward comes to mind) … However, majority are pretty ridiculous… The other types of blogs I read are more personal… I’ll probably write a little of both!

Now I am aware that my oddness and my life’s lack of excitement could result to 0 readers, but I have found writing/blogging to be a very therapeutic thing. So I’ll be fine if no one reads this blog!

For those of you who know me very well… you know that I have a passion for children and young people. My desire is for these young individuals to experience the love that comes from Christ.

My desire to work with children began towards the end of my senior year of high school and early college years. I did a few VBS programs in the church and I went on quite a few mission trips where I had an opportunity to work with such wonderful children. My heart leaps for joy as I reminisce on these wonderful days.

My desire to work with young people (youth) occurred when I became a youth sponsor at Church of the Servant. It started a few years ago and I am still working with these wonderful students. I can say without a doubt that my time at Servant has been the most wonderful experience of my life.

I am torn when I think about my future over the next few years. It’s ironic when a student or a friend comes to you and tell you about their fears for the future. Usually, I can muster some words or find some way to encourage them in this process. But when it comes to my own fears, I am at a loss for words. I want to be a youth pastor, but the last few months have been the most challenging time for me as I work with youth. It has made me question my ability to be a leader and show Jesus to these people. I’m not worry about programing… or even having discussions about the bible (which use to terrify me)…. It’s when a student comes to me with something… and my response will have an impact on their near future. One that could lead them free from bondage and into the arms of Jesus…. Or to fall deeper into the lies of the evil one. Of course I want them to experience freedom, but I don’t know how to respond. And it frightens me. I am becoming more and more aware of my responsibility as a leader to reflect Christ…. And the implications of how I love… talk…rebuke… question… is extremely important. Before… I was naïve and I wasn’t aware of the implications of my actions. But those days are over. There are a few other reasons… but we will ignore them for now…

My other thought… was to perhaps be a teacher. It is one that has caught me off guard recently (Prior to student teaching, I didn’t want to be a teacher… whole different story). I’m student teaching in a 2^nd grade classroom at a school in Yukon. This semester has taught me how important it is for men to be involved in their children’s life. I have so many young girls and boys that will cling on to me… seek my approval… try and hold my hand… or sit on my lap. I hear stories of how a father kidnaped his son… or another one that tried to commit suicide… or others who break their promises to their children… or aren’t even around. And it breaks my heart. It infuriates me. Men… if you choose to have a kid… then be involved in their lives. The affect it has on children when their dads aren’t around is frightening. And men are not stepping up to the plate and it pisses me off…. So this makes me want to be a teacher. This makes me want to be the consistent man in these fatherless children’s lives. But then you get to actual teaching… dealing with administration…. Dealing with tough parents… all of these things rob me of my desire to be a teacher. And I can’t tell these kids about Jesus. I had a girl who was in tears because her baby cousin died… I had a girl who was in tears because her daddy doesn’t love her… It took everything I had to not tell them about Jesus. I wanted to tell the little girl that her baby cousin is celebrating with the angels, but I couldn’t. I just had to watch her cry as I tell her how sorry I am…. I just wanted to tell this little girl how much Jesus loves her… That He is the one Father that NEVER FAILS. All I could do was tell her how sorry I was that her daddy was not around. It cripples my heart when I think about these things. And this is a school in Yukon. You would expect these things at a low socioeconomic school… not this school… One thing this experience has taught me… is that brokenness is really all around us… and Jesus is needed EVERYWHERE.

I want to find creative ways to work with wonderful youth kids… and new ways to interact with young children. I am still clueless on what that looks like… I have no idea what the future holds… It scares me.

- Sang

I’m going to try and end all my post with a picture and a current song.

This is one of my favorite pictures of all time. It is of John Lingo and Alicia Brown dancing while I’m prancing in the background. I chose this picture because of John Lingo. There has not been a man who has exemplified the love of Christ the way this man has. No question, this man has had the most influence in my life and who I am today. He is a father to me and so many others.

Current Song: David Crowder Band – Sometimes